These actual excerpts from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts'  are word for word transcriptions.

 

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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

 

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

 

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

 

WITNESS: Yes.

 

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

 

WITNESS: None.

 

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

 

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

 

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.